White Gilgamesh
From the sacred halls of ancient Sumer and tumblr hails the White Gilgamesh.
Recipe
2/3 beer, 1/3 goat milk. That's it.
Epic of White Gilgamesh
Two thirds beer and one third milk
Of a goat or of its ilk
Goes down harsh, it isn't good
Makes you feel like you're made of wood
White Gilgamesh it make you sick
Just too foul, just too thick
Pilk/Moke
I'm sure it's sacrilege to group these together but come on, they're basically the same thing. Milk with some Pepsi or coke, whichever you prefer.
Smoker's cough
I learned of this one from transmanari on tiktok. You take a shot of Jägermeister and drop in a spoonful of mayo.
Peeps wine
Another tumblr classic from battlecrazed-axe-mage! You make this by fermenting marshmellow peeps. A thing I will never voluntarily do, but I deeply respect and fear those who will.
Battery acid spaghetti
We return to tumblr for the battery acid spaghetti. The general consensus about this one is: do not do this.
Recipe
You take a bunch of those rainbow sour gummy strips and peel them into spaghetti strings. Then you throw those into an energy drink of your choice. You can add some vodka, but that’s optional. Do not do this.
The Mountain Dew Chart
This extremely cursed chart has a variety of mountain dew+alcohol combinations. I really don't know what to think of any of these. Source
(click to embiggen)
Potion of nourishment
Sadly this one originates in mine own house, from mine own wife. It was not actually created but it was a close call.
Recipe
One bread disc with distilled tomato, taken from the clutches of an ice demon (frozen pizza) and one pitcher of yon finest milk (a flagon or likewise will suffice). Cast a ritual of fire (heat the pizza), then pulverise it and combine with the milk (blend).
Hotdog mead
This time we're going to the dark recesses of Tiktok, where Golden Hive Mead created an actual hotdog wine. It's made with hotdog water, a hotdog emulsification, and honey. But how does it taste, you ask?
If you could collect the liquid that's at the bottom of the garbage bin at a baseball game, that is what we're drinking right now. The final product was sweet like honey with a distinct briny aftertaste of hot dogs that made me question my life decisions and realize that just because I can do something definitely does not mean that I should.
So, like, not great!
